March 23, 2010

I Wuv's you!! Letter to Shanna 3-22-10

(Mom, Dad & Christopher's letters came to late! So she missed out on pictures and reading Christopher's Mission Call!! She was on earlier than usual to hear about Christopher's call and they barely missed each other.)

I wuvs you!‏                                                                            Mon 3/22/10

First things first~ Christopher is going to Chile!!!!!!!!!!! Mom didn't write me this week. I don't know what's going on, maybe she sent it to my other e-mail on accident. I can't believe it. I wonder if he cried. I was a mess! That is so awesome! I wonder where. Christopher needs to talk to Kyle and get the low down, Cause that's where Kyle served. I'm so excited for him and really nervous too. It is hard enough learning the lessons in English but in Spanish? He can do it though. Man that is so crazy. The lord will bless him a lot. Wow~

I know what you mean about the drunken scary people. There here everywhere. There was this guy the other day that kept staring at us and following us around. He was so creepy. He kept saying "you're so fine, can I have your number, if I come to church can I have it." Nasty man!

That is the only thing I don't like about this place. Men here are so blunt. Plus, you know when you look at someone and they look back at you and you look away because it's embarrassing to stare? It's not like that here. Here they stare and keep staring till you leave. Then they make some embarrassing comment that makes me blush and I don't ever blush. We met a kid the other day that has two kids from the same baby momma but he's 18 and the kids are 5 and 3! That means the girl was pregnant or he became a dad at 13!!!!!! It is so crazy here.

The guy I'm talking about with the kids, his name is Matt and he is such a sweet guy. He came to church yesterday and loved it! He didn't know anything about God 3 weeks ago so we taught him and he wants to be baptized and go to the temple so he will be baptized this Sunday. It will be my first baptism. The weeks pass by with no baptisms and I feel like a slacker or that I 'm not being a good missionary and I don't like it. I'm working my best but nothing seems to happen. I had a total melt down Saturday night after one of our investigators that we were working with for a long time screamed at us and told us never to come back and slammed the door in our face while I was still talking. She was supposed to be baptized on Sunday (yesterday). Her mother is really anti so she told us never to come over when her mother was home but yesterday we did because we needed to know if she was still planning on getting baptized. Her mom was there and wouldn't let us see her and so we came back later in the day and she exploded. I think she might be bipolar. I don't get her at all but one thing I have learned is that people don't keep their commitments to come to church, read, pray, be baptized or anything else you ask them to do, there either not ready or there not serious about the gospel. SO we dropped her and we move on to someone who really needs us. Like Matt.

Everyone here is sick, or on medication, or something is wrong with their body. I don't understand it but I think people just need to get out and exercise, Breathe the somewhat clean air and get out of their homes. I've never seen so many lazy people in my entire life. People's homes are a mess. Mom would have a cow! I look at others home and it makes me want to clean mine more. Maybe even dump some bleach everywhere! It's just so wrong. It's even trashy in nice homes. I don't understand, but oh well. Nothing I can do because most people don't want your help to clean. I try to ask them if they want me to clean anything without offending them. It's a hard thing to do. It's hard to teach in their homes when you can't find a (clean) place to sit. We wash our clothes every week and sometimes our skirts twice a week, Depending on where we tract. But I come home smelling like cigarettes, beer and dog breathe everywhere I go. It's so gross! I only smell good for the first hour of my day and then no more.

Secretly, I do love it here and I feel more comfortable in trailer parks then nice homes. It's weird to think that but people who are set in life and have everything going for them don't have open minds or hearts for us to teach them what we need to, and they say, "I'm comfortable where I'm at." Someone once told me that if you're comfortable you're not doing what you need to be doing to learn, stretch yourself, and to become closer to God. Instead you're becoming comfortable with what the world has to offer you and you're not progressing like you should. People in the slums seem to always want to be better and do better for themselves and they believe God will always get them there because they know him first hand from their downfalls. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how to tell them they need this more than they think without making people angry, but then again I'm not afraid of what the world can do but what God will do if I don't do His work.

I love the gospel with all my heart, and although I'm really struggling at the moment, I know that it is all for my good. God is preparing me for something great. I know that it might just be for my learning and it may not mean that i will receive baptisms for it but I'm learning. This is harder than I thought it would be. I want to do and be my best in everything I do. I think I'm doing that but I know I can be so much more. I can be a power house filled with the spirit at every door if I will just get out of the way and let the spirit take over. This learning process is a hard one but I think it's one that I'll never forget.

I love you and am so thankful for your love and support. I feel your prayers. I look up to you so much and i always wondered if I could be a missionary as great as you would have been and still are. I remember hearing your discussions with mom that you had about the gospel and the insights you had from your classes at school. You couldn't get enough of what you were learning and I could even start to understand what I was supposed to study. That was always your strength, so much so that you found your husband over late night discussions of it. I hope you never lose sight of how wonderful you are to me, to the family, to Adam, and to everyone that has met you or that will meet you. You're amazing! Never forget how much I love you~

I love you with all my heart!
Your sister missionary~



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