October 19, 2010

My Promised Land.... October 16, 2010

So first of all, don't worry, we are on bikes and we are being safe. We almost always walk home together, all four of us. Our new apartment is even smaller than the one we have now and we still have 1 bathroom but we have a washer and dryer! and it is 5min. walking distance from the institute. It is cute from what I can see through the windows. lol it is a two story house but we live down stairs and someone else lives upstairs. It's a girl, don't worry. It should be a fun place to stay that is if I don't get transferred. It's funny cause it doesn't matter who is getting transferred we all have to pack and then pack the apt. to move. lol Our transfers are no longer on Thursdays but are now on Mondays (everyone else's p-day) so that everyone who wants to comes to transfers can. It will be weird to see how that happens being that our p-days are on Saturday. But I think I like it this way because that way everyone can get together and see the people who are new coming in and people that are going home and we all can be enlightened by hearing President and Sister Barry speak. Plus it takes less time away from the week and gives people time to unpack.

Sister Baker my last companion and Sister Mitchell my read headed companion and Elder Vangenderen my first district leader, are all going home!!!!! I'm so sad! This is the first set of missionaries that are going home that I have personally served with, Lame. But I'm excited to be able to see them before they leave. I have loved serving with them.

Everything is going so much better here. All four of us sat down and talked out our differences and really it all came down to pride. It is so stupid how much we let our pride get a hold of us. After watching a video on pride by Elder Uchtdorf, given to us by the AP's, It really was apparent how I stopped loving and caring like I should and how I let my pride and what I wanted get in the way. I was so blinded by what everyone else's problems were that I didn't take the time to see what was wrong with me. I fasted and prayed so hard for things to change and to see where I was wrong and then fix it. It is so amazing to see the drastic change in the feeling in our apt. and with the four of us. We have seen a lot of success this past week. It has been amazing. We are finding how to better work with members in this singles branch and we are starting to figure out who we can call on to help us.

It is so amazing to me how every time that I have had a problem and have gone to the Lord in prayer It seems that I still do not find direction right away, but then I humble myself and fast for it and really center my heart and focus, and that is when I began to find what I need. It may not always be the answer I was looking for, but my heart is filled with his love and tremendous gratitude for everything He has done for me and I can't help but be so happy, and that in and of itself makes a difference. It pulls me through and gives me strength to go on until that answer comes.

I don't know if I'll be transferred in two weeks or if I'll get to keep Sister Cutler, but I do know that God continues to have a plan for me and he gives me the strength and the mind set to accomplish everything that he has asked me to do. In Nephi he talks about going back to get the plates, and makes the statement, "For I know God giveth no commandment unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them to accomplish it." So I didn't quote it perfectly but it's close.

It was so crazy, every time I read through the Book of Mormon, I am reminded of an experience that I had after my engagement was broke off and I read and finished The Book of Mormon on my own without assignment or without family for the first time in my life. I spent a lot of time in the scriptures going through that hard time and I came across a lot of scriptures that really helped me to see how much God loved me and How much he had provided for me. I was reading at the part in the Book of Mormon when Lehi and his family had reached the Promised Land and after Lehi had died and Nephi became the prophet and the people appointed him to be a ruler over them. We know of course that Laban and Lemuel became more wicked again and sought to take away Nephi's life. So they are forced to leave there promised land however God promises them that he will provide for them another promise land.

At that point in my life I felt that those scriptures directly spoke to me and I took comfort that I would be provided for and that I could find someone to love again. It wasn't until a couple days ago that I found out what kind of Promise land God had in store for me. I have been on my mission almost 9 months and never really understood why God wanted me to come out here but yet I have loved and have been blessed forever for following the spirit to come.

It was after having a huge argument with all of us girls trying to sit down on Monday and fix whatever was going on. It didn't quite do the trick. I was really coming to wonder why I was sent here, because I knew it wasn't for this. Elder Preze Our new AP whom I served with before he was an AP was talking about attitude in our district meeting on Tuesday. We talked about the attitudes of Laban, sariah, and Nephi and the attitude we must all have. When someone said, "But Elder Preze It's easy for you because your in Orange Park, the promise land, right?" He laughed and said, "no Elder, we are all in the Promised Land, we are on our missions, set apart to do his work, how promised can you get?" It shocked me to the core. I was in the Promised Land that God had made for me. I have wanted to be married since I can remember, and when that didn't happen it was like my promise land was stolen from me and I was being asked to leave. It hurt but through the scriptures I found that I could find another promise land and that God was providing (Him) for me. Little did I know God was not preparing me for my promise land but for His, which is far greater than I could have ever imagined. I was called to come and so I did follow with exact obedience not knowing why. I have struggled through this transfer wondering the same thing I had wondered three years ago. Why? When God said to me, "because I have prepared this promise land for you, I have promised you one, and so I sent you here."
Coming on a mission was not what I expected or ever thought I would do, but Elder Preze was right. This is God's promise land, his working field of missionaries, how much more promised can you get. I am supposed to be here. I have been called here not by chance but by appointment. I love this work with all of my heart. I truly am in the promise land because it is God's land and as long as I am following him, on my mission or when I return home I will continue to be in that promise land. So again whatever may happen next transfer, God will always provided a way.

I love this work!! We have some people we are working with but no one super solid yet. We are seeing a lot of referrals coming our way so it makes me feel like I'm doing something right, although I have a lot to change. I'll let you know by next week which ones become solid. I don't share a lot of names because the turnaround rate is very high here. People drop us like hot cakes. No one is too fond of giving up there party life, but there are some who are sick of it. We like to target those people who are the few and far between.

I love you all so much! Sorry about the bad address.
Love you all!

Till next week, I'll be praying for you~

~Love Your Sister Missionary~



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